Sunday, January 31, 2010

Livebogging the 2010 Grammy Awards!

This started out as a facebook status series but got out of hand. Here we go!

Lady Gaga AND Elton John are performing together right now on the Grammy Awards! I love them both, this is too cool!


"You know who I would like to see perform together? Adam Lambert and Any Sense of Self Restraint!" -Stephen Colbert

Happy now, Kanye?

Jennifer Lopez, it's nice to finally see you wearing REAL clothing.. and not rolling around on stage. I believe you've found your new niche!

Is Green Day performing with Scary Spice?

WTF, Beyonce? Crotch grabbing while wearing a leather bustier with a flared skirt, singing "If I Were a Boy?" Give "If I only Had a Brain" a try.

Don't even start singing Alanis Morissette, Beyonce. Do you have any idea what that song is about?

I get it. You'll mess up the lyrics, writhe around on the floor and then sing about how badly you've been treated by a man. It's hard to empathize with you right now. I mean, if you stopped marketing yourself as sex on a stick I'm sure the boys wouldn't treat you like a toy. Just sayin'.

Anyone else think that Pink was Princess Leia for a second?


I need another commercial break soon. I gotta go.

Congrats, Zak Brown Band for best new artist!

Fergie-Ferg brings back the visor! Oh yes.

I've got a feeling that this song has been played at every frat party in the civilized world since its release.

That said, it still gets me pumped and ready to party! Mazel tov!

Hey, Will I Am, you are flat without an autotuner. Sorry, man. I know it's a tough knock, but learn from Kanye!

Lady Antebellum

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
As the habitual designated driver, I can't tell you how many times I've heard this over the phone.
Although I realize that the point of this song is not the same as my plight.

Stephen Colbert
on winning the internet release award
I guess I should thank Jesus Christ for having such a great birthday.
Yes, Stephen. Yes you should!

Starts out opera, then we see the Yeti's tame cousin conducting the band, and then the non-Yeti turns out to be T-Pain! What next, Jaime Foxx? I'm impressed!

, THERE's EVEN MORE! Re-re-re-re-REMIX! that more curvy lady supposed to be on the stage? That confused me.

Justin Beiber and Ke$ha... he's about a foot shorter and an octave higher than her, and that's unsettling coming from a boy who is trying to going to "tell you one time" that he'll make me "one less lonely girl".

Love me some TaySwift!

Taylor and Stevie Nicks are performing "Rhiannon"- amazing!

Did Lionel Richie seriously just tell me to don my 3-D glasses? I feel like I'm in Cinema 9 about to view the Pixar movie UP.

What about all of the energy you're wasting with these stage lights? Or the carbon footprint of this award show with the private jets, cars, and fan traffic? I bet that y'all didn't carpool on the way here.

Prince and Paris Jackson appear and give us a touching speach about their father. Let me interrupt with my rudeness and say THERE ARE NO MASKS OR SCARVES OVER THEIR FACES and WE'RE ACTUALLY HEARING THEM SPEAK. This is such a shock. But congrats, children of Micheal, because you handled it well. I know it must have been hard so soon as after your father's passing.

...we know that Michael had vitiligo, but he was still black. These children don't look mixed-race at all. Am I seriously misunderstanding their genetic heritage or am I the only one confused?

Nice choice, viewers! "Livin' On a Prayer" is just about everyone's theme song right now (not to mention a classic!) Brought to you by Bon Jovi and Jennifer Nettles

Was Lady Gaga Rhianna's stylist for the evening?

This is a beautiful song and a beautiful duet by Mary J. Blige and Andrea Bocelli!


Don't steal music. Got it.
Hey, how much of that money actually goes to the artist, buddy?

Dave Matthews Band! Yeah!

Gah, I'm getting tired and hungry, y'all.

Glad that Beyonce got the vocalist award of Katy Perry. Katy can sing, but doesn't. Happy, Kanye?



Apparently, Beyonce and Jay-Z have been married for around 2 years.
Brookie obviously doesn't follow celebrity news much!

It's time for this blogger to go to bed and end the liveblog, and just in time! I think that the Grammy Awards are just finishing up.

Grace and peace,

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

It's beautiful

Today was the first time that I ever cried after a baby was born. With my niece, I was just excited that she was finally here. But with my friend A's baby, it was different. I was pumped that he was here, but more than that I was given a glimpse into what that family went through to finally hold their son. I knew that his arrival hadn't come without struggle and worry, and seeing him there was sweet blessed assurance. I didn't want to get my hopes up too high, but I had. Then I saw a picture of her holding her beautiful, precious, healthy son and I lost it. Tears poured down my face in the campus center as I praised God for such a beautiful creation. A smile lit up my face as I rejoiced with this family that they have this new bundle of joy to bring home. Now I'm full of awe, thinking about the awesome God that orchestrated the life of this child from the womb.
Psalm 139: 13-14
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

Please join me in the celebration of new life. We have a new brother on this earth! This family has a son!

Psalm 92:4
I sing for joy at the works of Your hands.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A Crazy Week

So, I have no idea where I am this week.

I feel like every second I'm so busy or inundated with new information that I can't process anything. I know that that means two things:

I need to start journaling again. This is different from blogging because my journal is for my eyes only. I can write whatever I need to and I don't have to hold myself back. Some things aren't appropriate to write in a blog, y'all know that. And blogging for catharsis isn't feasible all the time. "I'm feeling overwhelmed! Let me pull out my laptop and find a wireless connection..."

I need to CALM DOWN and SLEEP. Calming down involves me sitting in one place for a few hours with a good book. Sleep is just as you thought. I have to get a lot because my chronic pain problems wear me out. I think that I function best on 8-10 hours of sleep for a normal day. I have been getting closer to 6 lately. Ahh!

So, with that, I hope to have a better week next week! This week is probably down the drain. ALTHOUGH my whole foods diet has been great this week! My snacks have been whole trail mix (no chocolate or sugar or processed anything in it), my meals have been as close to whole as I can get in GDH and in Springs I get a spinach salad with grilled chicken (yum, people, YUM!) and I've been drinking water or hot tea. Of course I put a bucket of sugar in my tea, but I'm working on weaning myself! And I use Stevia from time to time when I sweeten my tea in my room.

So, that's a positive note to end on =]

Grace and peace,

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Winter Conference

I went to Montreat this past weekend with my college for our annual winter conference. Several professors attend with a large portion of the student body and we spend the weekend together in the beautiful mountains of Montreat, enjoying a Sabbath together. This conference was such a renewal for me. I'm really grateful for everyone who worked on the retreat, those who prepared for it for weeks before the event. I'm also thankful for everyone who went and made it such a great experience for me. I felt so loved and accepted, and I got to interact with members of the community that I normally don't see or get to be with. It was so refreshing to see my peers ignoring the social order or status quo and just existing as a single group, with a common purpose and love for one another.
You might say that I'm being too much of a hippie about this, but I think that I'm just genuinely surprised to see my peers be so... nice.

Thank you for that.

While I was on the retreat I felt a tug to "come back home"; to come back to the Presbyterian faith that I grew up with. For years I ran around to difference churches, looking at difference theologies, researching this and that until this weekend I realized that what I already believe is accomplished in the faith that my church family instilled in my so many years ago. I'm proud to be a member of my church and I know it. I know how Presbyterians do things. I know our rules, our laws, how to get a job with a Presbyterian church, what we believe and what we practice. 15 years of solid Presbyterianism has bred in my a fierce love of bagpipes, tartan, and Scotland. I love worship services that make less of the performer and celebrate the God who gave us the talent with which to worship. I love that we're held accountable to an association but not hierarchical enough with our rules and confessions that we allow heresies to sneak in and become cornerstone dogmas.
I'm so happy that my denomination, and I know some people hate denominations, accepts the fact that God made me a woman and equal to a man. I'm overjoyed that I'm not a second-class citizen. I feel accepted as a member of the body of Christ, regardless of my gender, and it's beautiful to me that I can serve in the full pastoral capacity to which I have been called.
More than this, it's home. Home isn't perfect, but nothing is perfect but Christ. Sure, there are controversies. Who hasn't had them? And the confessions of the Presbyterian church fully admit that human doctrine in this area can be subject to any number of errors (especially outside of historical context). But I won't waste my time addressing every criticism of my home church. Because it's just that; it's home. It's home, and that's enough for me.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I have not been liberated.

Last night at Hobbie Talk, we discussed women: how they were treated in the Bible, how they were and are treated by the Church, how society views women.
In this discourse, the subject of the Vagina Monologues came up. A group of students from the college are putting on the annual production of the collection of monologues celebrating the vagina (shock!) soon, and auditions are this week.
I am normally quite the prude. I always thought that I was very conservative, maybe just a little insecure. Now I realize it's because I've been trapped for most of my life, hiding secrets and shames and not telling anyone. This is one of the many things that the Vagina Monologues addresses.
I have finally realized that for years and years, I have allowed society and tradition to dictate some of my most fundamental beliefs. Like that God is a man. I'm not about to start referring to God as a chick, but why do I see God as this huge man with a beard hugging the earth? Why do I give God that masculine image? Why has it NEVER offended me? Why has it not hurt me that God, who is characterized as a mother NUMEROUS times in Scripture, has been constantly referred to as a male?
Why is it that it has never bothered me, and I have never questioned, that humans are referred to as "all men", rather than simply "all humans"? Don't tell me that it's because "all men" is shorter to write or say. History shows us that brevity wasn't favored by the great minds and writers of the past. Proof is in the mass of reading that I have to do for Philosophy, easily 100 pages on trying to use a logical equation to prove that God exists. It can be written in under 100 pages, peeps. Trust me.

Why is it that rape isn't always considered a violent crime? Why is it JUST a sex crime? Does everyone realize that the psychological mindset of the rapist isn't to have sex for pleasure but to overpower the victim? It's like calling assault a party foul. "But normally guys wrestle for fun. This one just got out of hand."

Sound ridiculous? I thought so.

So now that my religious sabbatical is over and me and Jesus and my vocation are tight and in a stable loving relationship, I'm going to liberate myself as a woman. I'm going to celebrate the fact that God made me a woman and all of the intricacies that go with womanhood. I'm in for a beautiful journey, and I encourage you to make it with me.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Insert quirky subject line.

Okay, so the "arthritis-fibromyalgia-carpal tunnel-diagnosis of the week" front is not going so well. But I'm dealing with it. I spent a whole day off of the computer and it didn't make a difference. Again. SAD.

As far as having a social life goes, it will be nonexistent this week and next. I'm behind on the reading for some of my classes (I know! Already! And we just had a break! blah blah blah) and next weekend being the weekend retreat (oh boy, I just hope that my professors put off all homework for Monday and Tuesday because of it. Dreaming on, I know)... I will be SWAMPED.
That's okay, because GIRL'S NIGHT IN made up for it. Sort of. Let's just say that the unmentionable account of girl's night is, of course, unmentionable on a blog. But all of you girls know what happened! Every girl's night follows a few general rules. Such as:
Games: truth or dare, never have I ever
Chick food: Brownies and cupcakes
Fru-fru drinks: Shirley Temples

And a whole lot of FUN. And SECRETS. And NICKNAMES. My nickname is Angel, a shock to most of you who call me the alky.

Also, it's like the rainy season on the Serengeti. And I must have left my rain boots at home. Silly me! I guess I'll be wearing my Sperry's a lot because they're made to "GET WET", after all!

The whole foods diet is going pretty well. I'm successfully avoiding high fructose corn syrup, food dies, and preservatives, despite the challenges of GDH (haha).

I also found out what I'm going to do with my life!!!!

But I'm going to make you wait for another post for me to explain it. CLIFFHANGER! NO! I guess you'll just have to follow my blog or add it to your blog reader to find out!

So now, I leave you with this math joke:
The Gaga Law (RAH)² (AH)³ + RO (MA + MAMA) + (GA)² + OOH(LA)² = Bad Romance

Friday, January 15, 2010

Lame day!

A few days ago, my pain issues in my hands starting flaring up. I am not exactly sure what caused it, but it is definitely here and I don't know what to do. Medication rarely works unless I take the hard core stuff, which I don't want to do in school. I could try to get a brace to keep me from moving my hand/wrist so much. I have gone without the computer for days (Shock, I know!) to see if it was the typing position bothering me, but no relent. Playing piano hurts, writing with a pen hurts, typing hurts, using my ergonomic mouse hurts, twiddling my thumbs hurts. It's like my wrist is hooked up to its personal electric chair.

What are your thoughts on pain management? Any ideas?

As for me, I'm going to mope. If you go to school with me, a hug and a smile will make me feel worlds better!

I have to say, there's a good in this situation. My legs aren't killing me right now and my winter shoes are providing enough support for them that my twisted bone structure isn't aching. In summer, I wear shoes that aren't so supportive. In winter, although it's colder and makes my joints stiffer, the constant ache of summer is going away. It's enough to make me consider wearing tennis shoes year-round!

God's peace,

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Rednecksington fun

When all other entertainment fails you, this town provides some excellent people-watching. Go into the Wal-Mart and browse around the isles for a while. Laugh at the mile-long line of cars at Chick-Fil-A. Marvel at the display of humanity that can be found at the flea markets. And if you're brave, valiant and have a prescription of Xanax, go the mall. Which is technically not in Rednecksingon, but I only had so much to work with.

Imagine yourself, assaulted on every side by body after body. You run past the Seacret kiosk so the foreign salespeople don't try to rope you into buying some $200 eye cream that you know won't do any more than the $6 Olay that you bought when you were in Wal-Mart. You pass Hollister and smell that acrid teenage perfume. You smell it because they literally pay a kid to walk around with a bottle of "Pure Secks" or whatever they market and spray it throughout the store nonstop.
You pass Auntie Anne's and try not to succumb to the sweet scent of dietary sin.
You take a bite of the pretzel that you swore that you wouldn't buy and debate the merits of walking through the beauty department at Belk.

You decide against it and continue on your journey. On the way, you walk into the fume cloud billowing from Abercrombie & Fitch and try not to stare and the huge poster of a half-naked man (with amazing muscle tone) in the entrance to the store. It's just the fumes, ladies. Take a deep breath across the walkway and you'll snap out of it. But not if you keep walking straight, because then you walk past the Yankee Candle. You smell a mix of caramel, potpourri and floral scents that kind of make you want to gag. That pretzel was a bad idea.

Summoning up your strength, you continue into the labyrinth of the Food Court. Dairy Queen, that Chinese place beside that Japanese place which faces the kind of but not really Chinese place which is next to the Subway. And a Chick-Fil-A, which could also be called Crack-Fil-A, because there's one across the street and another one in Rednecksington with a packed parking lot and a mile and a half long line at the drive-thru.

After looking through the Hot Topic windows just because you thought that your experience couldn't get crazy enough, you buy a shirt from the Big Thursday stand that says "COCKS" and nothing else.

Then go home to the "Best Town by a Dam" and pick up dinner at Lizard's Thicket. You deserve it!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Dear Mr. Pedicurist,

please stop making me feel so awkward. This whole barely-any-verbal-communication thing combined with your misunderstanding my loud and plain instructions creates a less than calming pedicure. That you charged me too much for. The sign said $25, dude. Plus a $12 manicure should come in to around $37 before tax. In my state, with tax that's right around $40. You charged me $42 and said you didn't include tip. UNTRUTHS! I tipped you anyway. But you made me feel awkward.

Sunday, January 3, 2010


Brookie got a account. Find me here and ask me a question! Oh boy!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Why, hello 2010.

Just when I got used to writing "09" on the date, it's another new year and I have to train myself to write "10". But with this new ending comes those not-so-new promises that everyone makes and few live up to: New Year's Resolutions (With Unnecessary Noun Capitalization).

The past year I started noticing what was in the food that I was eating and how it affected my body and mind. Let's just say that sugar is not a recipe for a well thought out blog post. So this year my resolution is to seriously research foods and nutrition and figure out what exactly I'm eating, how it's metabolized, and with that knowledge, what changes I should make in my diet. And by "seriously" I mean that I now have something to procrastinate and wiki-hunt with.

I hope that this isn't going to be one of those resolutions that is never lived up to. I only have one body and this one set of original internal organs. I'd like for them to last me as long as possible, and in the best shape that they can be in. If I can be happy while doing it, it's a plus.

You all can expect a lot of posts on what I find out, not because y'all need the education but because I need the repository for the information. And I need my incredibly intelligent and loyal readers to correct me when I'm wrong!

(Random: It's 1:14 PM on January 2nd, 2010 and I just heard a firework go off. Thank you, Rednecksington.)

If you know a lot about a healthy diet and lifestyle, let me know! Comment and give me some direction. I know that baby steps are the best starting block- what baby steps can you recommend?

Grace and peace for the new year,